


Mean

by BarracudaHeart



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Betrayal, Bullying, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Gen, Harassment, High School, Molestation, Murder, School Shootings, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 02:21:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1180771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarracudaHeart/pseuds/BarracudaHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amelia Jones is dead, at the hands of a fellow student, Anya Braginskaya. Whilst the student body mourns the loss of their beloved classmate, questions remain for Anya to answer. "Why? What did she ever do to you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mean

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a fan of Law and Order SVU, and this oneshot is loosely based around an episode of the same name (particularly a sub plot). This is also loosely based on the really cheesy film "Death of a Cheerleader" which is based on a very sad but true story.  
> This is a very twisted tale, as you can tell.

_Tragedy has struck St. Gakuen High School, as shots were fired early this afternoon. One student is dead, and another with non life-threatening injuries after another student fired a handgun in the cafeteria during the first lunch period of the day. The handgun's owner is yet to be determined, as is the shooter, who is in police custody. Amelia Jones was shot in the head, and was pronounced dead in the ambulance. Maria Beilschmidt suffered a shoulder injury, and is in the hospital, recovering. More information to follow..._

* * *

"Miss Braginskaya, can you please answer the question?", repeated the officer seriously, as he sat across from her, recorder in hand, "Where did you get the gun?"

Anya, after a moment of silence, squeezing her hands together to keep them from trembling on her lap, finally answered, voice hoarse but quiet, "My mother's safebox. I took the key."

Officer Hedervary nodded, "When did you take the gun?"

"This morning, right before school. She was waking my little brother up, and I snuck it into my backpack and-", she stopped, throat catching, "...I killed Amelia, yes?"

After a pause, the green eyed officer nodded, responding to her question for the third time that afternoon, "Yes, Miss Braginskaya, she died en route to the hospital."

"And the other girl? Maria?"

"Miss Beilschmidt has a non-threatening injury in her left shoulder."

Anya wet her dry lips with her tongue, nodding, "I see...", then stared at her lap, quietly remarking, "Maria was more bitchy. She deserves to be out of lacrosse for a while."

Hedervary didn't react, simply glancing to her, "So if Maria was more horrible to you, wouldn't you wish that she had died too?", he prodded, trying to get more of a statement.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because Amelia was my target."

"Why?"

No response. Hedervary frowned, "Miss Braginskaya?"

Anya merely picked quietly at a hangnail.

"Anya.", he responded softly, as if to soften her into responding, "Why did you kill Amelia?"

The Russian girl looked up, dark circles under her oddly colored eyes, the dim lights of the room oddly highlighting her pudgier than normal cheeks.

"Because she betrayed me."

* * *

_Eighth grade was a stepping stone for many children, especially Anya, who had hardly been in America for a month. Her grasp on English was still shaky, and it would take at least another year to fully understand how to read it. But it was enough for public schooling. Barely._

_The chubby 13 year old with pale blonde hair that reached her lower back knew she would not be popular, with her body, and clothes. Her woolly thick sweater with lambs knit on it, and purple corduroy jeans looked like something a little girl would wear, not a middle-schooler. She had gone out with her mother to buy clothes, but she rejected most of them because they made her look fatter, and the ones she liked were simply too expensive to buy then._

_She stared at her worn out sneakers, hearing the teacher warmly introduce her to the class. The silence that followed seemed to signal that she should sit in the empty desk in the middle row, as designated. As soon as she sat down, she caught eye of the girl at the desk to her right. Sunny blonde hair, two red barrettes, a worn leather bomber jacket over her sky blue "NYC" shirt, infectious smile, and the same type of dirty sneakers._

_"Hello. Me. Name. Amelia! This. Is. America!", she gave a goofy grin.  
_

_Anya blushed with embarrassment, laughing awkwardly, "I'm Anya, I can speak English well enough."_

_"Oh, whoops!", she laughed, "Sorry 'bout that. I'm kind of crazy that way."  
_

_"Good crazy, I see.", she smiled shyly, glad she was getting along with at least one classmate._

_"Heck yeah!", Amelia grinned, then huffed as she dropped her pencil, and reached down for it, seeing the new girl's footwear, "Oh, hey, we have the same sneakers! Coinky-dink!"_

_"Co-in...ah...yes.", she laughed slightly, not getting the other's quirky abbreviation._

_"And they're both equally dirty.", she giggled, "I have too many grass stains on them from playing soccer. Do you play soccer?"_

_"Ah...no. I do not.", she mumbled, "I play hockey though."_

_"You play hockey? Oh wow!", she grinned, "That must be so cool! You'll have to show me your gear some time!"_

_Anya nodded after a moment, not wanting to mention that all her hockey gear was left behind in Russia on accident, much to her dismay._

_Before Amelia could open her mouth again, the teacher glared, as if to tell her to be quiet. She huffed, then leaned over dramatically to Anya, whispering, "Sit with me at lunch ok?"_

_The Russian girl's smile could have brightened up a stadium, and she nodded eagerly. For once, things were going right._

* * *

"We were best friends in eighth grade. We'd have sleepovers at her house, and we traded lunches sometimes.", she mumbled, staring at her lap, "We were super happy to be accepted to the same high school, St. Gakuen. We hoped we'd have the same classes."

Hedervary nodded as he listened to her, "It sounds like you two were inseparable."

She nodded, picking away at chipping nail polish, "We were, for that short, sweet time."

"From what you told me earlier, things got sour when bullying happened. When did that start?"

"Late freshman year, or early sophomore year I think.", she mumbled, brow furrowed in thought, "It's too much to remember."

He tapped his pencil on the table, "I can understand that. You've been through a lot, haven't you?"

She simply nodded, her hair falling over her face slightly, letting it tickle her nose, which had a few faded acne scars. She stared down at her school uniform, which still smelled faintly of gun smoke, the plaid skirt's dark green squares highlighted in the shade of the table at which the two were sat, the faint whirring of the tape recorder playing.

* * *

_"So your mom and dad are divorced, right?", Amelia asked as they walked to the bus stop, sharing her ladybug umbrella._

_"Yes.", she responded, staring at a puddle that they just walked in, hoping that was the maximum of Amelia's curiosity._

_"Do ya miss him?", she piped, innocent enough._

_Anya stopped in place, the pitter of rain becoming louder in her head, as she responded weightily, and with finality, "No. I do not."_

_Amelia frowned, staring at her, noticing the look in the violet eyes, wondering if those questions bothered her. Maybe Anya_ _really did miss her dad, but was just mad that he was gone, and pretended not to miss him. Just like she herself had done when her dad left on the really long business trips. But there was something else in Anya's gaze that Amelia noticed. The same look that her sister had at hearing thunder in the middle of the night._

_Fear._

_The Russian girl grit her teeth slightly as her friend inquired softly, "Anya...?...did your dad do something that hurt you?"_

_"No more questions.", she responded dully, yanking the umbrella along, only to feel it get tugged back._

_"No shitting with me, Anya.", she responded stubbornly, "I'm not leaving until you answer the question. We can both stand in the rain for all I care."_

_"I'll walk home.", she shrugged, frowning._

_"You'd get drenched, and your mom would kill you for forgetting a coat.", Amelia countered, frowning._

_"Yes, my father hurt me. Let's go already.", she responded irritably._

_"What did he do?"_

_Anya turned around, glaring, and instead of telling Amelia to shut up, or threaten to rip her lips off, she responded, with a tight throat, "My father touched me."_

_It had all started when Anya began growing, from the chest up. Her father would insist on taking her up to bed, helping her dress for bed, lingering his touches on her body, 'accidental' brushes on the leg. When she didn't tell him to stop soon enough, he advanced. Promises of making her feel good, gifts, clothes, all as long as she told nobody. It all made her feel so horrible, but so good in such a wrong way. It left her in tears, crying herself to sleep, leaving her mother baffled when Anya seemed to be wetting the bed again, after almost seven years. He loved her, he said, this was something special that only big girls could do, and now she was a big girl, she should be so proud, he said. That night when he pushed her against her bed, holding her down, telling her he'd waited long enough, and that he wanted something too, only to be stopped by her screams, and from hearing his wife and sons come home, that night was the final straw. While the bastard was at work the next day, Anya told her mother everything. A month later, he was out of the picture, and Sofia was looking for housing in America._

_But all that Anya had to say was 'my father touched me', and Amelia fully understood. She pulled her friend into a tight hug, "I shouldn't have asked, I'm sorry."_

_"...it's ok.", she sighed, "...just don't tell anyone."_

_"I promise."_

* * *

"Do you need some water, or anything?", the officer asked, noting how terribly the girl was shaking.

"No. I don't need it.", she mumbled, throat tight as she spoke, "I'm fine."

He nodded a moment, then sat back in his chair, "I can understand how you feel, how upsetting that was for you."

She glanced up, glaring as if to question it. How could this officer even understand? The trauma, the humiliation, everything.

"I wasn't born a boy, I was born a girl.", he admitted, "My uncle molested me for a long time. He also didn't like how I wanted to be a boy, and said 'he'd make me feel more like a girl this way'."

She paled, eyes glancing up sheepishly, "...Oh..."

"So I can understand how rough things have been for you.", he continued, then standing up, "But that will not excuse the crime committed of murder. Though your circumstances might help decide upon first or second degree."

"Will I get a death sentence?", she mumbled, face back to it's blank, pale slate.

"Highly unlikely with the circumstances given, and your age. The court might argue over juvenile detention until 25, or 15 years in a female prison. I'd still like you to explain some more things to me, before we put you in custody."

"Right...", she responded, picking at her nails, nail polish flaking off, falling slowly to her lap, and the floor.

* * *

_High school brought more changes in a few weeks than what Anya had been accustomed to in a year. The schoolwork, the people, everything seemed to change except for Anya herself. All the girls from middle school switched to the next size up of clothes, more makeup, and seemed to have an affinity for bottle blonde hair. She remembered her first high school dance, and the dress she bought, a sunburst pink dress that reached her knees. It looked nice on the hanger...most of the girls said they felt like beautiful garden roses in their elegant long dresses. Anya felt like a grapefruit. It sucked being chubby midst a sea of skinny girls._

_Amelia had changed the most of all though. Quickly, she replaced her t-shirts and bomber jacket with a green 2 piece top and skirt that showed her midriff (how it got past dress code was a mystery), high top sandals, and after cheer tryouts, the uniform on occasion. Outside of school of course. Because everyone would wear the uniform when class was in session. Amelia's choice of attire was polar opposites with Anya's conservative cardigans and skirts._

_Anya was happy for her friend when she got on the cheer squad, openly congratulating her with hugs one September morning in freshman hall, a sweet memory for the girl as she silently sent well wishes to the American when she became cheer captain in sophomore year, knowing it would be useless to try and ram through the swarm of giggly girls who Amelia labeled now as her closest friends._

_It hurt, to think that they were drifting apart, but it was just a natural part of life, her mother said. Friends would come and go._

_Anya didn't want to let go though._

* * *

"Did you tell your mother when the bullying began?"

Anya shook her head, "I didn't want to get her involved."

"But she did find out, didn't she?", he prodded.

"Yes. When she found the text messages on my phone."

"How long had the bullying gone on then?"

"Three, maybe four months.", she mumbled, "Why are you asking me this, aren't you just going to lock me up already?"

"Anya, I'm trying to understand why this happened, so maybe I, or another person can help you. So your sentencing can work better in your favor.", he sighed.

"I killed someone though, shouldn't I deserve to die as well, Officer Hedervary?", she asked, almost like a challenge.

He sighed, taking his cap off, "You know, Anya, you can just call me Officer Daniel, okay? And to answer your question, I do not believe in eye for an eye, or tooth for a tooth. Eye for an eye leaves the world blind.", he responded coolly.

"I killed someone in cold blood though, Officer Daniel.", she countered, "I should deserve the worst punishment there is."

He stared at her, thought in his bright green eyes, "Something tells me that you're not telling me everything you want to tell."

* * *

_Teenage girls could be mean. It was natural, the school counselor had told Anya as she sat there, explaining why her grades were slipping, and why she was skipping gym class. The blonde wished that she could forget the last two months. The counselor said that Anya could come back and talk to her anytime, but Anya knew it wouldn't shut the others up._

_She hated gym class, especially track and field. When on skates, she felt as agile and graceful like a butterfly, but in sneakers, like a brick. And being in class with Maria Beilschmidt, the co-captain of the cheer team and captain of the lacrosse team, was no walk in the park either. The albino girl took plenty of opportunities to snicker or cast smug glances at Anya as she walked past. She even gave Anya a cute nickname: Pig. When she passed Anya on the track, she'd occasionally 'oink' at her, or jeer at Anya's 'piggy pink panties' when they changed in the locker room...they were rose colored. Rose was Anya's favorite color. Whenever she looked at things in that color, she'd do her best not to image any pigs with it.  
_

_A few of the other girls were kind of snooty too, Anya observed. Their insults or mockery were rather vapid and bland in comparison to Maria though. The Russian hardly talked to Amelia anymore, which was really depressing. She'd occasionally text the American but get no response or a simple 'kk' or 'busy atm'. She decided against telling her about Maria and gym class._

_After a particularly rough afternoon, which consisted of Maria jeering at Anya while they warmed up on the football field, with hilarious lines such as "We're doing push-ups, not grazing, moo cow!", the girl had gone back to the locker room to grab her socks, which had been forgotten, and as soon as she quietly walked in, realized she wasn't alone._

_The cackles and giggles of at least four girls could be heard from a few rows over. Anya was not one to eavesdrop, but in such a small space, it was hard not to._

_"So we were changing after gym today, and Braginskaya was like a fucking Jell-O mold!", one voice cackled. Maria._

_"I bet she eats tons of Jell-O too!", squealed another girl, another cheerleader._

_Anya rolled her eyes, knowing that these girls were just being gossipy as normal. They babbled, jeered, and mocked everyone._

_"She once told me she played hockey.", a voice piped up. Anya perked up, recognizing the voice all too easily._

_"Really? Hockey?"_

_"She's such a slow runner though!", commented another.  
_

_"Yeah.", Amelia continued, "I've never seen her though. I bet she's lying, she's probably too fat to play."_

_If Anya's heart was fabric, it was getting unraveled faster than a sewing machine could fix it. She dug her nails into her hands, leaving bloody red crescents in her palms. She slammed the locker door, making the girls shriek, only to then burst in a gaggle of laughter as Anya ran out, unseen._

_How could Amelia have said that? About her?_

_Well, of course she probably knew, as she stewed over it that night. Amelia was a popular girl, and so maybe she just had to put up a popular act in front of the others. Anya wasn't popular at all, and she knew it. Defending the nobodies was social suicide. So maybe she didn't mean it. She couldn't have._

_But still. Even if it was an act. It hurt._

* * *

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Anya.", sighed Officer Daniel.

"That wasn't the worst of it.", she responded, "It got worse after that. And the school did nothing."

"Would you like to tell me what happened?"

"...Amelia told them about my father, and let them spread a rumor about my brother that-", she felt her throat tighten as if it were a drawstring bag, "-that he was my incest baby."

The officer frowned, "I cannot imagine how horrible that must have been."

"You can't. That's right.", she snapped instantly, "I had to face every day after that with at least one person coming up to me, asking if he had deformities, or if my father still had custody of him, or if I still was 'daddy's girl', or hear how I should have gotten an abortion, so I wouldn't have a freak baby. He wasn't my baby though. And he's not a freak! He wasn't even related to me! He was adopted!", she began to get hysterical.

"Anya-", he began, trying to calm her down.

"I can't even LOOK at him without thinking about what those girls said about me! What they said about HIM! They hadn't even met Nikolas before! They've never even seen his picture!"

She slammed her hands on the table, the most aggression she'd shown so far in the room today. She breathed heavily, staring at the table with wide, bewildered eyes.

"They haven't even seen him..."

* * *

_Anya stared in horror at the posters that were plastered in the girl's locker room. On them were a crude photo of her in the locker room, dressed only in panties and a bra, changing, unaware she was being photographed. Below it was a caption, "This is what baby weight can do to you. Don't sleep around."_

_She managed to crumple up as many as she could, and carried them to the principal's office. He said this would not be tolerated, and told her there would be action taken to punish the offenders. There wasn't._

_At the end of the day, as classes got out, Anya quickly pursued the sunny blonde, skirt swishing. "Amelia!", she called out to get her attention. As soon as the other turned, she shoved the flier in her face, "Did you see this?", she asked angrily._

_Amelia looked at it, face uninterested, "Oh, yeah, Maria sent it to me."_

_"...of course she did.", she growled, "Why the hell did you tell her about my father? Why did you make up that bullshit about my brother?"_

_"I didn't make up anything.", she rolled her eyes, "Maria probably did, it's no secret you guys don't like each other, Anya. Besides, I just told her because she was curious. We're besties."_

_Anya's chest began to hurt, "But you promised you wouldn't tell anyone!"_

_Amelia's nose wrinkled as she made a face, "Well here's a newsflash, I only keep promises for my friends. And I'm sure as hell not friends with you! Go bother the cafeteria ladies or something from now on!"_

_"Piggy annoying you, Amy?", Maria clicked, strutting over to walk beside her friend, giving a cruel sneer to Anya, who looked ready to break, flier crumpled in her hand.  
_

_"Yeah, let's just go.", Amelia muttered, giving one last moody stare to the Russian girl, and walked off, visibly accepting Maria's offer to share an umbrella as it began to rain._

_Anya cried all the way home._

* * *

"That was five months ago.", she mumbled, staring at her hands, which were shaking violently again.

"Did things get any better between you two?"

"Not at all.", she mumbled, "The school didn't do anything about the posters either..."

Officer Hedervary sighed, "Anya, I'm going to ask one more question. I asked it at the beginning of the recording. I asked to see your backpack, and you said no. Can I see your backpack now?"

"...why?"

"Because I can maybe help you more.", he explained, green eyes kind. The girl glanced up at him, then back down at her backpack, which was at her feet. She sighed and put it on the table. He gave a nod, and began to unzip all of the compartments, taking out the schoolbooks, binders, notebooks, everything. Whilst searching, he found a neatly folded piece of card-stock paper. He glanced at it, and without even asking if he could read it, he unfolded it. It was finely handwritten in calligraphy ink.

_To whoever picks up my backpack from the ground when you read this,_

_Congrats, you're the first person to learn why I shot myself today._

_When I first moved to America, I knew I didn't belong. And for the shortest time in eighth grade, for just one year, I felt like I did. But it was merely a facade, an illusion, a mask to hide away how cruel the world is._

_I guess the food chain was a real thing, that the predators will always beat the prey, no matter how much the prey tries to defend themselves._

_I'm only sorry I wasn't strong enough to get through high school. Let alone, finish junior year._

_I'm sorry for being a fat blob of nothing._

_I'm sorry for probably setting my poor kid brother up for a future of harassment because some bitch decided to take advantage of my past as a sex abuse survivor, and use it as a lever to ruin my life._

_I'm sorry for making life so hard for my mother, when she tries to make it so much easier for her children._

_I am however, not sorry if I make a mess in the locker room this afternoon, where I plan to die. Those old lockers need a fresh coating. And I won't be sorry if I shoot myself in front of Maria. Because that's what she probably wanted anyway._

_Mama, Nikolas, I'm so sorry._

_Maria, and the rest of the fellow cheer team, congrats one less pig in the sty._

_Amelia, I just wish we could be friends again._

_Anya_

* * *

_Anya lost control at lunch. She was walking to a table, to sit by herself, to contemplate on how smoother things might have been for everyone once she was gone. She stopped in place as soon as she heard Maria snort at her, "Got enough slop in your trough, piggy?"_

_Anya's placid, empty smile only faltered a little, "Yes."_

_She was about to turn around, to go back to the table, but something stopped her, and she turned around, "Oh. Amelia."_

_The American turned around from her conversation with two other girls, "What?"_

_"I still have your old friendship bracelet from eighth grade at my house.", she responded blankly, "I still cherish it very much, but I think you'd probably like it back?"_

_"I cherish my silly bands more than that old thing.", she frowned, then smiling, as if she were proud, "Besides, Maria made me cuter ones."_

_The albino sneered at the Russian, who seemed to snap into a trance at the cruel smiles._

_Anya felt as though she were in a dream, head light, remnant of a smile still on her face. Inside, she screamed, in rage, hurt, anger, everything. She wanted to kill this dream! If she died now, the dream would last forever! This nightmare!_

_Face unchanging, she grabbed the gun from her open backpack that had fallen to the floor. The first shot rang, and Maria howled in pain, falling to the floor, clutching her shoulder. Everyone in the cafeteria began to panic, a few screamed. The other girls, except Amelia, were running away, terrified._

_Amelia's eyes widened in horror, and she stood over her friend, watching her fall. She hardly had time to scream "ANYA, NO!" before a second and final shot fired, striking her in front of her left ear, at an angle. She collapsed in a heap, blood beginning to pool below her head, eyes staring forward sightlessly, as Maria howled in horror, screaming at Amelia to wake up, "AMELIA! You BITCH! You fucking BITCH!", she roared at Anya, in too much pain to get up. Students were screaming, herding in a frenzy for the doors, trampling over each other.  
_

_Anya _, still standing and staring forward, almost in a catatonic state,_  had since dropped the gun, knowing there were only two shots in it to begin with._

_The second had been added in case she was stupid enough to miss her own head._

* * *

_"..._ The gun was meant for you.", he concluded.

"Yes.", she responded, hands squeezing at her dress, shaking as her lip began to quiver.

"You had written a suicide note, intending to kill yourself after school in the locker room that day.", he narrated, almost inquisitively.

"Yes.", she whispered, eyes becoming misty with tears.

"But you snapped when Maria and Amelia confronted you again, and without thinking, pulled the gun out."

"Yes.", she whispered, tears slipping out, "I didn't mean to shoot them."

He nodded, "So right until that moment, according to the note, you had no plans or intent to murder or harm them or anyone else, only with the intent of committing suicide in the locker room."

"Yes.", she choked, finally breaking down fully, "I didn't want to kill Amelia. I wanted us to be best friends again. I wanted to be popular, to be liked, to be happy."

"I'm very sorry, Anya.", responded Hedervary as he comfortingly rubbed her shoulder.

Right before he shut off the tape, she whispered through her tears,  _"Oh, Officer Daniel...what have I done?"_

* * *

Anya Braginskaya was found guilty of second degree murder five months later, and along with psychiatric evaluation was placed in a juvenile detention center until she was twenty five. A little less than nine years, having been sentenced a few months shy of turning 17. Her family visited frequently, as did Officer Hedervary.

Maria Beilschmidt recovered fully from a gunshot wound in the shoulder, but did not continue to pursue sports in high school. It took her many years to get over the death of her friend, but even more to get over the fact she could have prevented it. She ended up making a tearful apology to Anya during her one and only visit, who was unable to accept her apology. Fair enough, since Maria could not forgive her for killing Amelia.

It was only several months after Anya was released that the Jones family could bear to go into their daughter's room again. While going through her things, they found a DVD marked, "For Anya", dated one week before the shooting.

It was recorded on a crappy camera, but that didn't matter. Amelia was sitting on her bed, crying. She began to mumble through her tears,

_"I am so sorry, for everything I've done to Anya. I'm just so scared I'm too late to say this. I'm so...so sorry...She's been nothing but a wonderful person for so many years, and I've thrown away everything she's done for me for sake of being popular. Sh-she's probably going to achieve all this amazing shit, and I'll end up doing nothing but looking like another typical popular chick._

_Everything I've done to her, I didn't mean it. But I can't tell her that, I'm too scared to! She's always been so unafraid to tell me everything, about her life, about her dad, anything that's bothered her, and I've literally used it against her. I have no excuse for that, and all I can say is I'm sorry. I hate being popular, but if I told her that, I'd be left with nothing else. I'm just so sorry, I've hurt such a beautiful girl so badly, and I can't do anything about it now. I just hope it's not too late for her to get help, because she's just so broken...she doesn't deserve that! Anya, if you ever see this, please believe me that I miss you so much, and I'm so, so sorry..."_

As the film began to time out, fading to black, her sobbing fit taking up longer than capacity provided, she whispered,  _"I wish we could go back to being best friends."_


End file.
